Southernisms and Traditions

I hope your new year is off to a great start. If you’re from the South, that included collards and black eyed peas on New Years day. 

My mother always prepared those traditional dishes but I have not followed through…until this year. I decided for the first time to cook collards and black eyed peas, even though my family is no fan of either. I determined it was time for me to go back to tradition. I was the only one to partake of the collards but everyone took a small serving of the peas. I’m glad I did it. Southern traditions are not a thing to take lightly. 

I did hear a very disturbing story recently about southern traditions. A fifth grade student in Tarboro, N.C. was punished by his teacher for saying, “yes, ma’am.” The teacher made him write those words on paper, four times per line on both sides of the sheet of paper. The teacher also said if she had something to throw, she would throw it at him. Outrageous.

This teacher is obviously not from the South. She would have known that was a sign of respect and being polite. Bless her Heart!

I realize that things are different today. But shouldn’t it be common sense that politeness is a good thing. How could a sane person be insulted by a child being polite? That can’t just be a southern thing. Is “please” and “thank you” still acceptable or is this too considered insulting? I’m confused.

A friend of mine posted a picture recently of her little grand baby and she called him “Scooter Pooter.” I hadn’t heard that expression since I was a child. My father used to say that frequently. Obviously, that’s a southern thing. 

During Christmas shopping I caught myself using Southern slang. (I try to contain myself, but sometimes I slip up.) When asked if I needed help carrying my stuff to the car, I answered, “Oh, no thanks, I’moan roll the buggy out. Oops. I meant to say, “I’m going to roll the shopping cart out.”

I started thinking about these Southern isms that my family normally used. If you’re from the South, you may recognize them.
* Goodness Gracious
* Well, I Swanee (my mother didn’t like to swear)
* Madder than a wet hen
* Livin in High Cotton
* Well, I Declare
* You look like you’ve been rode hard and put up wet
* Hold your Horses
* Ain’t got the sense God gave a billy goat
* Over yonder (and you knew exactly where that was)
* Too big for his britches
* Bless your pea pickin Heart
* Throwing hissy fits
* Law, put that skirt down. I can see the promised land
* I’moan jerk a knot in your tail
* If I had my druthers

Southerners can’t drive in the snow. We all know that. The following is an actual news alert, from a local weatherman, giving advice about driving in snow.

“If you rarely drive on snow, just pretend you’re driving Grandma to church. There’s a platter of biscuits and 2 gallons of sweet tea in glass jars on the back seat. She’s wearing a new dress and holding a crock pot full of gravy.” Southerners know that could actually happen.

The South is different than the rest of the nation. We have our own words for different things. We have our own culture and traditions, making us unique, and we’re proud of that. 

Our friends from the North often equate our slow talkin to low intelligence. That would be a big mistake. We are polite and friendly but we have an ugly side when insulted.

We do cling to our guns and religion as President Obama once told the nation. We’re proud of that too.

Most popular modern music was born in the South. Bluegrass, country, blues, rock, jazz are all birthed in the southern part of the country. The North only has RAP.

We southerners can strike up a conversation in the line at the grocery store, but when we don’t want to talk. Leave us alone. Counseling a Southerner is a psychiatrists worst nightmare. It goes something like this. “Why do you feel that way?” “I just do.” “Why are you so angry?” “I just am.” Real deep stuff.

Many residents from the North are moving here. Who can blame them? We welcome them and hope they will become true Southerners. But please don’t let them bring those crazy ideas that made them want to leave the place they came from. We don’t want to change our culture and traditions. We just want all newcomers to embrace it. We’re very tolerant and patient, we’ll give you all the time you need.

Happy New Year. I’ll be here again next week, IF THE CREEK DON’T RISE.