Are Your Kids Being Bullied?

I interviewed for a news program last week regarding cyber bullying. I must admit that I Knew little about the subject. While researching the issue, I was shocked at what I learned.  My primary concern was children being bullied via social media.

Another guest on the show was a young mother whose son has been a victim of cyberbullying. The story was horrendous. While waiting to go on the show, she shared her story with me. It began when online classes started during the pandemic. Her son was harassed during online classes and other times. The perpetrators made it appear that he was saying things to others in a bullying manner. His mother reported it to the school administrators. They claimed her son was bullying. She explained that she was sitting with him during the activities. While it appeared that he was making the postings, he was not. The school personnel didn’t believe her and continued to accuse her son. She called the police and they refused to get involved.

She was pretty certain she knew the identity of the kids but no one would listen. She monitored events closely and noticed two specific students were always online when the bullying was occurring. Without the cooperation of the school, she was unable to prove the identity. 

Things continued to escalate. Her son was getting personal messages from the bullies. These messages contained horrible accusations and some encouraged him to  “kill himself” as the best solution. He became very depressed and suicidal. The mother, in desperation, moved to another county with her son. She felt this was her only avenue to protect her son. He will continue in intense counseling for a long time. 

Her son did receive an anonymous “apology” eventually. It simply said, “my mother found out and said I had to apologize.”

Past legislation on the subject is very limited. There are laws concerning minors being bullied if the defendant is 18 years old or more. This is a class 1 Misdemeanor. There is little that can be done if the perpetrator is a minor. A judge can offer probationary conditions and the crime can be expunged if probation is completed satisfactorily.

There are statutes in place requiring each school administrative unit to adopt policies prohibiting bullying or harassing behavior. Obviously, that’s not working too well.

NC has a Tip line called SPEAK UP. It was formed from the SANDY HOOK PROJECT. It is operated by the Department of Public Instruction. This allows students to anonymously report on cyber bullying activities. www.sandyhookpromise.org 

Digital Trends, a technical news site, reports a 70% increase in cyber bullying/hate speech since the pandemic began. That’s an alarming increase. 

Teachers report that cyberbullying is their #1 safety concern in their classrooms according to a recent poll. This is very telling, since teachers have a front row seat.

Fifty nine percent (59%) of teens in the U.S. report being bullied or harassed online. Fourteen percent (14%) admitted to having participated themselves in bullying activities, according to Pew Research.

More youth reported cyber bullying on Instagram than any other platform. Perhaps because this is the most used platform for this age group. I’m not certain about that.

Teens who report bullying say these are the reasons:

61% say appearance.

25% say academic/intelligence

17% race

15% sexuality

15% financial status

11% religion

I found this poll very interesting. While we hear so much about race and sexuality bullying, religion is right in line with these. There is very little difference in the statistics.  The category of appearance was way out in front.

Only 7% of US parents, according to polling, are worried about cyber bullying. That tells me many children are not telling their parents. Parents, ask your children about it. Cyberbullying is extremely dangerous to teens and adolescents. It leads to anxiety, depression, embarrassment, humiliation and in many cases, suicide.

Cyber bullies often think this is funny. They may not realize the seriousness or the consequences for themselves or those they are bullying. Things posted on the internet, never go away. They may keep resurfacing and continue to cause pain over and over. 

I know things have changed drastically in the last few years, but I can’t imagine this happening even just a few years ago. I can say with confidence, my children would have never engaged in bullying. Thankfully, they were the ones who brought home all the strays and welcomed everyone in our home. I’m betting most of you, of my generation, would say the same. I know, I know. We didn’t have the internet and the technical devices, but this is a problem of the Heart.

Are we teaching children the Golden Rule anymore? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” was well known not that long ago. What happened? I can remember being posted in the classroom when I was a child. It wasn’t a bad lesson plan. I think we might consider bringing it back. Can I get an AMEN?