An Unusual Christmas

Christmas truly is a wonderful season and I cherish every minute of it. It always brings back lots of memories. I remember Christmases from my childhood and some very lean times when there was very little under our tree.

One of the most memorable Christmases of all was the Christmas of 1998. We were preparing to celebrate my grandmother’s 102nd birthday. She was born December 26, 1896. We never got to have that birthday bash. She died a few days before and changed my outlook on Christmas forever.

Let me admit something. I was never a Christmas person before. I was somewhat of a Scrooge. I started dreading Christmas sometime during the summer.

My husband and I disagree more, during this time of year, than any other. Not for the usual reasons of spending too much money but because we can’t find the perfect gift on which to spend. Around Thanksgiving, my husband begins saying, “We need to talk about what we are going to do for Christmas this year.” It sends cold chills over my body. To me, those are the most dreaded words in the English language. I ignore them the first few times he utters them, but eventually the confrontation occurs.

You see, my husband and I are different creatures. He is analytical and, true to his nature, Christmas consists of setting a budget (his budget is much more generous than mine) and making a list and checking it twice. He likes to wander to the mall to Christmas shop. I’d rather someone put bamboo shoots under my nails, tie my feet together and throw me from a river bridge than venture there.

Finally, I can’t ignore him any longer. Christmas is getting nearer and then he says, “I’ve tried not to be confrontational, but what are “you” going to get everyone for Christmas.” There! Proof again that Santa Claus is a woman. Would there ever be a Christmas if men had to send out cards, decorate, buy presents, wrap presents, plan and prepare meals and parties, etc? Of course not. The myth of the jolly fat man is a conspiracy against the real Santa, unquestionably a woman.

Back to Grandma. She was the stabilizer of the family. The one whose love had no boundaries. Of the 120+ children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren, we each thought that we were her favorite. No doubt we were.

I remember the many things that Grandma taught us. She taught us that the most important thing in your life is your family. After your career has ceased and your friends are no longer there, your family is the one thing in your life on which you can truly count. She made us promise to continue our annual family reunion after she was gone.

She taught us unselfishness by her example. Never a woman of means, she always wanted to share her meager possessions with others. There wasn’t a selfish bone in her body and her meek generosity was contagious to us all. She taught us to be thankful for our blessings (and we have many).

She taught us faith in God and all things are possible for those who believe. Her faith and her prayers were a tremendous inspiration to those who knew and loved her. She never preached to us —- just prayed for us.

She taught us that “there is some bad in the best of us and some good in the worst of us” and that we should always look for the “good” in everyone. (I jokingly told her that I knew some people she never met.) She refused to be critical but pointed out the “good” in everyone. I believe that was all that she ever saw.

Christmas was a special time for Grandma. She loved it for all the right reasons. She loved to get together with large groups of family members. She couldn’t have planned better for that Christmas of 1998.

Family members came from all over. My house was packed. We didn’t mourn her death, but we celebrated her life. We ate a lot, we laughed a lot, and we cried a little, but most of all we remembered Grandma.

I kept thinking that she planned it this way and she would have loved it ___ all of us together at Christmas. For years, I had planned to have a Christmas party and invite all the family but never got around to it. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. It was just like Grandma, to inspire me to do something that I would never get around to otherwise.

As I think of the things Grandma gave to us. I can’t help thinking what a wonderful job we parents of today have done of providing for our children the material things that we never had. But we’ve done a lousy job of giving our children and grandchildren what our parents and grandparents gave us, commitment, integrity, honor, loyalty, responsibility, honesty, dedication to our families and many other attributes.

I will never again take for granted the meaning of Christmas. I will find time to celebrate the life of the two people who have had more impact on my life than any others, our Lord and my grandmother.

I wish for you and yours all the blessings of Christmas and may the Christmas spirit be with you in the coming year.